Monday, June 25, 2012

How to Sneak Purse Vodka Into a Mets Game (or anywhere else there's security checking your purse)

So I went to the Mets/Yankees game last night. Mets lost. Wah wah. But at least I didn't spend a crap load of money drinking while I watched them lose! How is that, you ask? Refer to: title of this blog. Most people probably wonder how I manage to have my PV with me at all times, even after going through security "check points" and enduring awkward versions of the Terry Frisk performed by the rent-a-cops.

Here's what you do: put PV in a makeup bag. Put tampons and midol on top of the PV. Zip up the makeup bag. Put makeup bag inside purse. Watch the security guard's mildly embarrassed facial expression as he unzips the bag just before handing it back to you and sending you on your merry way. Tada! Your purse vodka just became Mets vodka.

Oh, and remember to bring the peanuts! Once you see the bags of peanuts selling for $6 a pop inside the field, you'll be glad you did. And as always, don't forget to pack an empty Starbucks cup and some sort of mixer; Citifield allows each person to bring in one unopened juice box. That way you avoid having to pay for a mixer once inside. Because, as anyone who has been keeping up with this blog already knows, having to spend any money at all (even on mixers) in order to intoxicate yourself is frowned upon.

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